What I Wish I Knew About Living With Someone With Ulcerative Colitis

Ulcerative colitis (UC) is a very challenging condition to live with. My wife, Molly, has been living with UC for all eight years I've known her and then some. There are a few things I wish I had known during the onset of our relationship that I have learned over the years. 

Molly was very upfront about her condition when we first started hanging out. However, I didn’t know much about how to support her and care for her whenever she wasn’t feeling the best, and that’s largely due to my lack of knowledge about UC. 

Even though I’m still learning how to fully support my wife while she’s managing her UC, I do know that stress, inadequate rest, and lack of bathroom access can contribute in poor ways to someone who has UC.

I Wish I Knew How Much Stress Impacts UC

High stress levels can damage the body in a myriad of ways. When I first laid eyes on Molly, I’ll be the first to say that I didn’t know how stress would poorly impact her overall health and the management of her ulcerative colitis. 

We had a few stressful moments during the first few years of our relationship, and we didn’t know much about how to de-stress. During those years, Molly had quite a few flare-ups. To this day, we don’t really know exactly what caused the flares; however, we do know that stress more than likely contributed to their existence. 

Now that we know more about de-stressing and lowering our cortisol levels, Molly hasn’t had a flare in quite some time.

We handle stress by working out, eating a nutritious diet, practicing more self-care activities (such as taking baths, sitting in the infrared sauna, and getting quarterly massages/facials), and traveling. We both strongly believe that our new de-stress methods are more than likely sending good signals to Molly’s gut.

I Wish I Knew the Significance of Rest

A good night’s rest is vital to our day-to-day functioning. During our first few months of dating, Molly and I didn’t prioritize rest. 

Molly is the ultimate go-getter, so in addition to hanging out with me, she’d work her 3+ jobs, work out, and work on obtaining her master’s degree from Georgia State University. Meanwhile, I worked for a utility company and would work out, play pickup basketball games, and spend my additional time with Molly. So, sufficient rest wasn’t really factored into our day-to-day.

As a result of the lack of rest we got from having so much fun together, Molly’s UC would flare up or she’d have to use the bathroom more frequently. 

I wish I had known the importance of getting sufficient rest and how it related to my wife's UC symptoms, at a minimum. Today, we do our best to prioritize getting ample sleep, taking breaks, and resting because we know how much it can benefit our overall health and how it impacts Molly’s UC. 

I Wish I Knew the Importance of Bathroom Access

Whenever we’re traveling, Molly and I are vigilant when it comes to having bathroom access. Throughout our entire relationship, Molly has had issues with urgency and needing to use a restroom right away. 

As a result of those experiences, we both make sure there is access to at least one bathroom whenever we’re out. I wish I had known that having bathroom access can give people with UC peace of mind, lower their anxiety, and make them feel safe and supported.  

Molly and I have been together since the summer of 2016. We have learned that ulcerative colitis is unpredictable, and we know that we don’t have all the answers. What we do know is that we’re on this journey together and that we’ll always make sure we’re reciprocating our support and love for each other. Sending love to all the people with UC and their caregivers.